Another update and a blog sale announcement!

Hi all,

So I know I promised that I would post and do a blog sale but there's been so much going on in my life that I haven't had the time right now. My sister was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, which is an inflammatory bowel disease similar to Crohn's disease. Basically, her colon is chronically inflamed/infected or however you call it. It's chronical, so she has to take meds for probably the rest of her life. It's a nasty disease, but after 5 years (!) of wondering what was wrong with her, we finally got a diagnosis on her disease after 6 weeks of going to the hospital and seeing specialists, drawing blood and getting a small procedure done.

When I'm writing this, she is in the hospital to undergo a blood transfusion. Her values were so low that her specialist wasn't surprised that she fainted and is tired all the time, that she was scheduled for an 'emergency' transfusion, meaning she's now getting bags of blood. I'm not allowed in there during the transfusion, which is why I'm doing this now, at home, so I can take my mind of what's going on there.

I've been worried sick about her and I've been her 'personal assistant' (for a lack of a better word) for the last 2 to 3 weeks. It's tough learning to deal with this, even for us, but I really think her life will be easier now, mostly thanks to the specialist that she now has who FINALLY takes her complaints seriously.

Anyhow, on a more blog related note: I've been sorting through the plastic boxes that I store my helmer-overflowing polishes in, and I've come to the conclusion that two of those boxes contain a ton of polishes that I'll never use (and never have used to begin with). I also realized that I haven't done anything with my swap box in months, so I'm putting most of those up for sale as well. Yes, you read that right, I'm going to be holding a massive blog sale. It's mostly nail polish, however I also have some Lush stuff that's going to waste and some other products that I'd like to sell. It's taking up so much room, and honestly, I can use the money! :)

So I will be putting the post up for my blog sale later today (probably around 21.00 GMT + 01.00). I haven't taken pictures of the bottles, because that would take me an extra day to prepare the post, so I will post a list of the polishes. Usage will be stated behind the name of the polish, but all of the polishes are either BN or used one time.

It'll be first come, first serve, so if you want something from the list, be there in time :)

I'll post again tonight!

Hope you guys are all doing great!

Update

Hi everyone,

It's been a couple of weeks since my last post and I just want to say thank you to everyone who sent me an email, message or posted a comment on that post. It made me cry that there are so many sweet people out there - even though we may not know eachother. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside and for that I say a BIG thank you *sends hugs*.

It's going a little better lately. I guess the weather helps; 20 C and days filled with sunshine are definitely getting my mood up. I'm still applying for jobs without luck, but I guess I will have to keep trying, so I will. It's just hard, but I'm sure it will work out.

So.. What have I been doing besides filling in job applications and absorbing sunshine? I've been working on another little project besides this blog. It's helped me to talk about what's on my mind in relation to what I've heard or read lately. That's a little cryptical, I know, but I will let you know what it is when I feel good about telling the world (which it sorta is, of course). Also, I've been working on answering my emails; I think everyone has gotten a reply (if not, PLEASE send me a reminder. I had so many emails that I didn't know where to start).

I've been in contact with different companies and hopefully I will be able to tell you what we've been discussing soon :) I think it's cool!

Also, I've been cleaning. A lot. I've almost completely redone my room, so I think IKEA's profits went up a little more. I spent a lot of time there looking at furniture - I needed a new bed and closet - and put those together with a little help from my dad. But before I could do that, I had to thouroughly clean my room and get rid of the junk. I didn't even know I had that much stuff! I'm currently working on my desk, since my room itself is done (and it's pretty darn awesome if you ask me).

In my free time.. I've been reading. A lot. Like, crazy amounts of books. I discovered that I'm not really into the kind of books that is considered literature, so I've been reading different kinds of books. It was (and is) my way of escaping the world around me. Because unfortunately, not everyone sees that I'm trying really hard to find a job. That I practically do the household on my own, except the cooking. That I would rather have a job and spend my time outside the house and make some money. So I read to escape. For me, it's a wonderful feeling. I love to read.

The reading has made me calm and somehow it made me organized as well (must have been because I had to be creative to fit all my books on their shelves) so I started cleaning and organizing and now my life is a little easier.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Sometimes typing these kind of posts just feel like pouring your heart out in a diary. It's lifting a weight of my shoulders :)

I'm working on coming back, I really am. Hopefully I can post some old material later this month, because my backlog is huge. I will post a new post somewhere between today and Sunday next week to put stuff up for sale (besides the stuff that is still up for sale on my Blogsale page). Because I have a lot of nail polish and even makeup that I've never used and honestly, I could use some extra money.

I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for being so patient with me, it really means a lot. You are the best readers I could have wished for. Thank you.

On a personal note

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've updated. I told you I wasn't feeling well, and I'm still recovering. I haven't been really open about what's going on with me, so I decided it's about time - so hopefully you'll understand what I'm going through. If you don't want to know about my life, or can't stand emotional misery, this is the moment for you to click away.

If you've been following my blog since last year, you probably know that I had mono and a car accident that caused a concussion that wasn't treated, and lead to concentration problems that made me unable to function at my job. After that, I was able to recover and work more hours. Even though my employer told me I was doing good, and so did my coworkers, one day before term of notice, they told me that I had that day to round up my work and leave. That was a total shock for me.

So I sat at home. You can probably imagine how boring it was to be at home for a month, just trying to look for jobs. My boyfriend urged me to apply for different functions, and so I did. I didn't even get invited to do an interview. I also suffered from signs of depression after mono and losing my job, but when my boyfriend decided to end our relationship of 3,5 years, I was devastated. I laid on the couch just bawling my eyes out for three weeks. After that, I was taken on holiday for a week by my parents and after that by Michelle and Michèle. Both did great things for me - it distracted me from my misery and in both weeks I really had a great time.

I was kind of okay for a while, until I got hit by the hammer in September. My mood worsened and I didn't want to be around people anymore. This was the reason that many of my friends dropped me. I can't blame them, really, because I didn't have the energy or the will to keep up the contact and everything. I just wanted to be left alone so I could deal with my pain. Some people will say that it's just heartbreak and it'll take a little time to get over it, but it was more for me. It was losing the life I had. I lost my health, job, cat, boyfriend and friends. It was a major setback because I was just trying to get it all together again. My boyfriend was not only my partner, he was my best friend, someone I could talk to about everything. Every weekend that I went to his place was something I really looked forward to - mostly because things at my place weren't going so well.

I miss everyone I had around me in the last couple of years. I really do. But they made it clear that they don't want to invest any more time in our relationship because they feel I should just suck it up and get on with my life. I just can't. I can't pretend nothing happened. And this hurts. A lot. It makes it harder for me to go on with my life, because I'm more or less on my own. I will get there, sure, but it's going to take a lot of time. I know that now. It's been almost 9 months since my relationship ended and I still have so much trouble thinking about it and giving it a place.

I hope you'll understand that I'm not ready to take up blogging again. Maybe I'll update again in the next couple of weeks, even though it's only one post - I still wear nail polish and I have a backlog that would probably take care of posts up until May. But I don't feel like blogging. I feel like I should get everything straight before I continue with my blog. But at this moment, I'm still looking and applying for jobs. On most applications, I don't even get a reply. It sucks. I graduated with good grades and they don't want me for the jobs they're offering because the function would be below my education level or whatever.

Anyway.. I have gotten a ton of emails in the last weeks/months and I'll do my best to answer every single one of them today. I'm not sure if I can manage it all in one day, but if not, expect a reply in the coming week. I'll really do my best because I sorta feel like I leave you hanging.

Thanks for all the emails and messages. It means a lot. I really hope I can pick up blogging and everything around it again, because I really miss you guys